Alright, I’ve doing okay recently. I still haven’t done that laundry I was supposed to do yesterday so I guess I should get on that now. However, I did get my doctors note and I handed it into my work. Good on you buddy, I didn’t think I had what it took to get that accomplished. Wasn’t even all that tough. I’ve read 73 pages of this book. Feeling pretty damn good about that too. I have had some paradigm shifts about a few different things that are very life changing. Seems to be an ongoing theme while reading this book. The newest epiphany is something I’ve always sort of known but for some reason was unable to pinpoint. My issue with reading books, focusing, listening to others when they speak is directly related to a single issue. I’m not going to say that it’s all because of a single problem because I don’t actually know that. However, I can say with certainty that because I’ve acknowledged this I find it much easier to take responsibility.
In the past when I have planned to read a book, I am reading it for a reason. That reason was to read it. In other words my reason for reading the book was to have read it. Sounds fine, right? WRONG! When we set out to read or learn something we do so for that reason. If I am reading with that goal in mind how am I going to find it interesting. I should be reading because I want a good story or to learn something. I feel like this stemmed from school projects. I never actually wanted to read books I was forced to by my teachers. Although they forced me to I rarely actually read them. I’d just get as much information as I needed to do whatever test or report they’d assign me. Why would I read more than I needed to? So that’s what I did. Reading was never about learning, it was about being able to say, yeah I did my homework. I’ve been out of school for quite some time now and I started to read and pickup all sorts of hobbies because I thought I wanted to. Truth is I did that because I wanted people to relate to. Again, this is a harmless motive. However, if you don’t actually care about what you’re doing enough to learn more about it, you will sound dull to everyone around you. It’s about passion. Unless you are passionate about what it is you do, no one else can share that passion.
Do things because you love them; not because you want to impress people. I’ll be honest, I really didn’t think this is why I was doing it. But after further inspection, it is. Why else would I read through something without any real comprehension? I can still say I read it. That’s cool, right? It’s the same when I am having a conversation. I guess I don’t weigh in on what the other person is talking about enough for them to have any interest in what I am dying to tell them. I used to do this a lot but I think I did it wrong. I gave my opinion a lot without being asked to. I don’t do this a whole lot anymore but then I don’t weigh in at all really. I want to lay down a few rules for listening and responding to people to
show that i care about them actually care about them.
Listen to them when they speak. If mind drifts away simply interrupt them and let them know that you lost focus. You’ll get better over time.
Whenever there is something you don’t understand, ask questions. They will be happy to explain.
If there is something you are pretty sure you can relate to or understand, attempt to connect. Ask if that’s what they mean and compare to something you’ve experienced. It’s fine if you’re wrong, they’ll probably just forget that anyways.
Don’t give an opinion unless asked, or ask them first as long as you’re pretty sure it won’t hurt them.
Share things that are interesting to you. Find yourself at a loss of words, just talk about something you’re spending your time on whether it be reading, writing, gaming, watching movies/shows, etc.
The keys to having a good conversation with anyone really.